The feeling of being mischaracterized can be likened to a monster slowly overcoming you with its heavy, slimy goo that doesn’t come off. Like The Blob (1958), it is a mass that grows out of other people’s wrong assumptions about you.

 

I am someone who struggles with social anxiety disorder and sometimes an awkward social presence; the blob gets flung on me a lot. In my one-person experience, I get eye rolls and terse words that I am somehow a person who doesn’t deserve their respect because they have formed an incorrect opinion of me. People think my natural nervousness is something to be questioned and not understood.

 

I hate the blob feeling of misjudgment. However, I would be remiss in not admitting that I am modeling judgmental behaviors. Either due to social, cultural, or low self-esteem factors, I concede that I can be just as judgmental.

Ironically, I don’t want to be unhappy, close-minded, or lack empathy. All of which being judgmental does to you. I desire good things not only in my life but my family's life and my neighbors. 

 

But as I work my way through therapy to sort out my own personal issues, I have been curious if other external factors lend a hand in my judgmental attitude. In my research, I have found that it may be staring at me in the face from the palm of my hand: my social media use. I’ve observed that the more time I spend on social media, the more judgemental and close-minded I become.

 

Being judgmental is synonymous with being unforgiving, hypercritical, rejective, and merciless. A quick Google search will tell you loads of information as to why we encounter judgemental attitudes in ourselves and with each other. It can range anywhere from insecurity to feeling superior to conforming to group norms in an attempt to belong. Additionally, being judgmental makes you less happy and lack empathy for others. Being judgmental hurts us more than helps us. It can cause a decline in our mental health, and I have seen it be one of the leading causes of ruining relationships. 

 

In addition, judgmental behavior hinders critical thinking, which is already in decline in America. Isn’t it ironic that we are not using our critical thinking skills when we are critical of someone?

 

While it is impossible to measure morality and compare it to different historical times, evidence suggests that social media has reworked our judgmental behavior today. Our use of social media contributes to our judgmental behavior, and the more time we spend on it, the more judgmental we are. 

 

Say you have a friend who cuts you off every time you speak or appears to you to gloat about their life; meanwhile, due to the misinformation on social media, you may have already branded your friend a narcissist instead of leaning in and actively listening. Maybe she is excited by something, needs validation, feels lonely, or wants to share her life with you. Our snap judgments due to social media have worsened, and we need to pull back the reins before they burn every relational bridge in our lives. 

 

We all know that social media platforms work on algorithms and feed you only what you want to see or hear. The problem with living only in your filter bubble is that you are less likely to encounter those who think differently than you or even to be curious about how other people think. I think I can see over time that despite low self-esteem if you spend enough time in your filter bubble, you would have nothing but judgment for anyone you deem “thinking the wrong way.” I am saying this as a confession since I have done this.

 

Being judgemental can also stall progress. We have already seen the effects of negative political polarization in families, online, and even in our communities. Since we are so focused on making a “bad guy” out of the other person, we have halted significant growth for ourselves, our friends, and our families.

 

I loathe feeling misunderstood. But while I cannot help what others do, I can start with myself by putting limits on my social media use. I have deleted my accounts before but missed connecting with people I don’t see regularly. Limiting my time makes me more likely not to get caught up in my filter bubble.

 

I can’t promise I will do this perfectly, but starting is at least a step towards eliminating the merciless blob that comes from using social media too much.